I seriously need to stop worrying

Read my last post if you wanna know exactly what's going on in my head: Am I the only one going through this?

I've been worrying so much lately. Everyone in my life seems to have their life together. They are doing well in school, they know what they want to do after graduation, they know what they want to do when they "grow up", and all their relationships seem to be perfect and working out. (btw I do know that no one's life is perfect and everyone has their own set of issues different from mine) Then there's me. And my life seems to be going the opposite way. I had a family member visit recently and he asked about my education/future and I tried to make it sound like I had a good idea with what's going on with my life, but in my head, it was like this: "I don't know and I don't have a freaking clue and I wish we could stop talking about this." And he went on to tell me I had to do all these things in order to succeed, none of which I have been doing, so it stressed me out even more. I find myself worrying and stressing about everything. I have so many exams coming up and they are all scheduled around the same time, so it's basically finals weeks. WHY. And I've been struggling with school and grades, and I'm gonna struggle even more for basically two more years (I'm taking an extra year to graduate bc life) makes it all the worse. So my hatred towards school on a scale to 1-10 is 20. I'm not exaggerating... I hate it that much. People are talking about going to graduate school after graduation and I can't fathom the idea of spending more years in school. To everyone going to medical school? Kudos to you because that sounds like a living hell to me. Like this seems like a minor issue, but in roughly two years I'm supposed to be all "grown up" and know what I'm going to do, but I don't. And it's a scary thought. And then there's my friendships/relationships. I am EXTREMELY grateful and blessed for the few friends I have here. They have always been there for me even when I feel like a terrible friend and I know God put them in my life on purpose. But then there are times I always feel lonely and am missing certain people who aren't here with me and I feel like I'm missing out on something more. And I can't do anything about it. I'm scared these relationships will fade and end. I feel like I'm stuck where I am. I ask God why does my life have to be like this?

These thoughts took over my mind while laying in bed trying to sleep one night. So I pulled out my phone and that handy dandy Bible app. The verse of the day came from Luke 12. I'm not going to copy and paste the entire chapter (you guys read it yourselves, it's a great reading), but here's one of the many verses that hit home:
"if God cares so wonderfully for the flowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?"
And that little reassurance was what I needed. Why is it so incredibly difficult to trust in God and know that He holds my future in His hands? Life could be so much more worse than this. As stated in this verse, if God can care about something with such a short life like a flower, of course He cares about me and has this amazingly wonderful plan for my future. I sure have no clue what it is, but I know it's gotta be good. It might not be what everyone expects of me, but it's gonna be 100x better than whatever plan for my future I can come up with.

If you're going through something similar to me, you are not alone!!!! I am right there with ya, friend. Just read this Luke 12 (or whatever chapter speaks to you) and remember that God has your future in His hands!!

I've posted some kinda somewhat similar posts to this in the past if you wanna read them:
Faith
Go Me
I've been slackin', I've been slackin' (Beyoncé voice)

xoxo,
sarah



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